RIP Captain Lou

I'm late with this, but I couldn't get away without bringing this up. RIP Captain Lou. You will be missed. I might also expand this tribute further later.

My first SMB Hack: Super Goatse Bros.

Now I've been around the internet for a long ass time. I've seen some crazy shit everywhere, from those old stupid flashes on Albino Blacksheep to billions and billions of shock sites. But perhaps what has really inspired me are those hilarious ROM Hacks with profanity and porn added to them. I've been wanting to do something like this for a while, and at last, I have. Allow me to introduce you to, Super Goatse Bros.

Screenshot curtsy of badhacks.net, where you can download the patch for this game. No I did not mean to call myself "Jakelndo", that's how it came out due to poor editing (I meant to call myself "Jakel"). And if one screenshot of this disaster ain't enough for you, here's a whole video!

As you can see, this hack was really poorly done, with some glitchy graphics here and there and meh looking character revamps. It's more like Shitdic's Fucker's Quest than Grimlick's Ernie and the Muppets Take It All Off or Jomb's Little Remo. Still, it's a hack revolving around shock porn sites and images, so you shouldn't expect alot. Plus it is my first try. And also, yes, I replaced the audio with Hello Goatse by Matt and Tom AKA parnelllynch and the Super Mario Bros. theme. The audio got fucked up in the recording of the video.

Basically, I got the idea for creating this from the fact that it hasn't been done before. I am shocked and amazed that out of all the dirty ROM hacks out there, not a single one has references to Goatse, Tubgirl and Lemonparty. Well maybe there is but it's locked away to where noone can play it.

You can download the patch for Super Goatse Bros. here at badhacks.net. You need an IPS Pacther and a Super Mario Bros. ROM in order to play it, as well as an NES emulater but I'm sure you knew the last one. You can find the IPS Patcher here also at badhack.com itself and an emulator here at zophar.net. As to where you can find a ROM, you're on your own with that one. Find it at your own risk.

Super Mario Land review

It is Sarasa Land where the story takes place. A mysterious alien by the name of Tatanga has kidnapped Princess Daisy, the ruler of the land. It is now up to Mario to stop Tatanga and rescue the Princess.

Super Mario Land was rather different in it's time compared to other Mario games. For one thing it didn't even take place in the Mushroom Kingdom but actually Sarasa Land, which is comprised of different mini-Kingdoms. It also had different baddies from other Mario games (though did have some returning enemies, including ones from the original Mario Bros. and Super Mario Bros.), a different main boss and even a different princess. Perhaps the biggest difference is that it wasn't even worked on by Shigeru Miyamoto, but by his mentor Gunpei Yokoi. Sure, there were spinoffs that Miyamoto also had nothing to do with but rarely ever an actual platformer. That being said, is this game any good? Hell yes.

Super Mario Land essentially plays like the original Super Mario Bros. The controls are a bit more tricky than later Mario games and there is no backtracking. Additional to the SMB gameplay however are the shooting levels. In two levels, Mario uses a submarine and an airplane that shoot missiles at his foes and destroy blocks. These levels add some new innovation and variety to the Mario series and make this game only more entertaining than it would've been had it not had these levels.

The graphics are fairly simple. Nothing here will blow you away, but that's not to say that the graphics are horrible. Mario and the enemies look the way they should for the most part. A common criticism of SML is that it's graphics are ridiculously simple, but overall I don't mind them.

Of coarse, theres the music. With memorable songs like the Birabuto and Chai Kingdom overworld themes, the score is hard not to get stuck in your head. The underground theme is the only truly disappointing these as it doesn't really have much qualities, but the rest of the music in the game pretty much makes up for this.

This is the kind of Mario game I can play any time, any where and it'd never get old. It's that damn good and was an inspiration for the site's design to began with. tl;dr, I'd have to give this game a perfect A+

PS Nokobons

New updates (finally)

So...new background and shit. Yep, finally did that. Still needs work, but I think it's about time we get this show on the road.

-Jake

Coming Soon...

Is the latest internet sensation.

Edit: Yeah, soon, like nearly over a year. Ha ha ha ha...Charlie pointed that out